My recommendation: be selective.

Relationships are valuable, and good ones take time. Given that time is in limited supply, we need to be selective when it comes to choosing who to focus our energy on.

In my experience, those who take more energy from you than they bring aren’t worth your time—or your energy.

Those who bring energy are worth the effort it takes to build and maintain a lasting relationship with. They’re the people I’ve decided to focus my efforts on. In my experience, the individuals who energize me are:

1. Honest
2. Reliable
3. Interesting

Honest

Anyone can be honest. Being honest well is something of an art form. In my mind, this means giving a well thought-out answer while softening the blow.

I’m learning this from someone who brings energy to the table every single time I meet with her. This person makes the brass knuckles under a velvet glove concept work in her favour.

When she says you communicate clearly and you’re so good at letting people know how you feel, what she’s really saying is you’re direct, bordering on aggressive. Constructive criticism can often be tough to receive, but she was honest so well that she gave me the energy to work on improving this aspect of my personality.

Reliable

You know that person who cancels two out of every three meetings you’ve scheduled?

This was another learning curve for me. The first step to being reliable is to know how to say NO. If you don’t know whether you can make it—to a wedding dress fitting for your lovely sister-in-law-to-be, to a board meeting, or to family games night—don’t commit.

It’s like dating: most people would prefer to have no plans at all than to be ready to go in fabulous black pants, a black silk top, killer stilettos, hair curled, and mascara perfected, only to receive a last minute cancellation from the dinner date.

If you aren’t sure if you can fulfill your commitment, don’t make one. Your excuses will be transparent, and will zap energy faster than you can get out of your killer stilettos and into your Lulus.

Interesting

Think of the most interesting person you know. This is the person who, when you plan a cocktail party, you look into their availability before selecting a date.

This is the person who shows up with a bottle of pink champagne sporting a massive ribbon around the neck, who’s telling a story before her coat’s off, and who causes everyone sitting at the kitchen island to breathe a sigh of relief because they know with absolute certainty that this individual’s arrival signals the end of strained conversation and water refills.

These are the people who bring energy—life—to a party, and to your life.

Those who give more energy than they take—people who are honest, reliable, and interesting—those people are worth every ounce of energy you devote to fostering a strong relationship with.

Not only are these ideal qualities to look out for in other people, but they’re also worth cultivating in yourself. Develop these qualities and you’ll find that people will put more effort into fostering their relationships with you—business and otherwise.